I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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