Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
