Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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