Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You brought string cheese to the strip club
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize