Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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