Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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