Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
