I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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