i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.