imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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