Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"