Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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