i just had sex bonerless
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
