she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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