i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
do nipples grow back?
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