i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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