i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
