plz talk dirty to me
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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