I think I died a long time ago.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
