he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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