Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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