apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
