I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I have post one night stand depression
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
