I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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