margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
