I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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