I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
