You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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