God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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