The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
