Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
