Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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