she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
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Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
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It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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