My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
