she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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