Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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