Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
