i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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