A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
