As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
