I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
