dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
