did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize