I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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