She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
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Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
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You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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