i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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