Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
i've created a new STD.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
