It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Welp...herpes.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
