I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
