In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
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