you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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