Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Randomize
