When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
