Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I think your dad took our porno
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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