What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
