one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
