I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
