my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
