she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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