Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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