if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
