Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
