Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
