and you said cock pushups were impossible
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
