6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
